No, my children didn’t actually ask me what a “bigot” is, but let me just remind the rest of you what the actual definition is before I tell you why bigotry is the subject of today’s blog. Merriam Webster defines a bigot as: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially : one who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance. 

Wow. I don’t even know what is more disturbing: the fact that they are referring to fellow humans being just who they are as “subjects forced into our homes” or that they believe children will be confused by them. You know what’s confusing to me? That there are moms out there who promote this type of intolerance and actually want to instill this awful prejudice in their own children. Where is the morality in that?  These types of mothers are the very reason why gay and transgender kids and teens still feel so ostracized and marginalized and isolated…and sadly, in their loneliness and despair, so many, still turn to suicide. How is it moral to teach your children that because someone is different they should be shunned and not accepted by the rest of us? How is it moral to try to ‘remove’ someone because you don’t understand them or because their differences make you uncomfortable? It amazes me that in 2011, there are still so many moms out there who don’t realize that their intolerance for those unlike themselves is a way more dangerous message to send to our children.

And the worst part? They never once stop to think about who they are hurting with their hateful crusade. They act as if this isn’t a personal issue, but what is more personal than telling someone, through their shameful campaign, that they are not as worthwhile as you…that their life isn’t as valuable, that who you are shouldn’t be broadcast in front of millions because they don’t believe in it and therefore won’t tolerate it. It’s stunning to me that people truly think this and would promote these same ideas to their kids. What if one of their own children were born gay or lesbian or transgender? What if it were someone in their own family whom they loved? Would they reject them the same way? Would they show the same lack of acceptance to their own child? How can they call themselves mothers and act with so little maternal feeling? The most basic aspect of our responsibilities as moms is to unconditionally protect and accept and love our children. So, why is it then, that these women think they have the right to tell other moms that their children aren’t worthy of that same protection, acceptance and love? It literally sickens me.

But even beyond the bigotry, one of the most remarkable things to me about this whole protest, is that these women have so little faith in their own children. For if there is any single and wonderful characteristic to point out in kids, it’s that they are born “clean slates.” There is no inherent hatred or anger or prejudice or ugliness in their hearts. Any intolerance they demonstrate as they grow older comes directly from the environment in which they are raised and the prejudice in which they are exposed. Kids are more innately tolerant of differences than anyone else. I see this every day in my own kids. They never ever say anything remotely bigoted because it is a foreign concept to them. If anything, when they notice something they aren’t familiar with in someone else they always see it as a neat discovery and are eager to learn more.

Is there too much violence and sex on tv? Perhaps. Is the media exploiting our children? Absolutely not. We have the power, we have the control. We are the parents. We can make the decision to turn the tv off or unplug the video game or turn down the radio or take the i-pod away. I am certainly not naive about the media’s inevitable impact on our kids. You can’t raise them in a vacuum and keep everything you wish them not to see or hear away from them. But preventing them from watching a dancing competition because you think they’ll be confused by seeing a gay man dance with a woman and a transgender man dance with a woman? That is so much more harmful to them in my opinion. And, by the way, I use the term “man” to describe Chaz Bono, because that’s precisely who he is now. And who in the world am I to say otherwise?

If your kids are confused and ask you what being gay or transgender is, then use those questions as an opportunity to show them a lesson in tolerance and humanity. And if you’re not prepared to have that conversation then you can choose not to watch the show. But trying to get people kicked off is not the way to go. Then it becomes an example of bigotry which, sadly, your kids don’t deserve. What they do deserve is the chance to live in a world where people embrace the differences in others and see everyone else as equal human beings.