Here we are again, Poops. The end of another year comes to a close. It’s time to look back on the last 365 days and reflect on all that’s transpired- good or bad- and ask yourself: what could I have done differently? What would I have changed? What could I have done better? What am I proud of? What did I get right? What might I have done wrong? What were significant, memorable moments? And why? Conversely, what were some things that took place I wish I could forget? And why? Don’t stew or rehash too much, as that becomes unhealthy at a certain point. But it is important to learn from year to year what we can improve upon in order to optimize this one and only precious life we’re given. After thinking a lot about 2011, I have comprised a list of resolutions for myself. Poops here has never been a serious, thoughtful resolution-maker, as I think that oftentimes when we do so we tend to disppoint ourselves and aim alittle too high. I don’t want to set myself up for failure by biting off more than I can chew with these resolutions. So, bearing that in mind, I believe I’ve made a realistic list of ten attaintable things and feel it’s not too far of a stretch to keep to most of them…or at least give it my best try. They are all highly personal to me and my life, as I’m always an open book to you, but I do believe many are universal in nature so I hope you will thing about how they might apply to your lives as well.
1. BE CALMER. This is still something I need to work on. I am getting better and have employed various techniques to assist me with remaining as calm in possible, but these past few weeks have really tested me a lot and the pressures of dealing with the impending move and all that goes into selling a home have made me realize I have much more work to do in this department. And so I shall.
2. BREATHE (major component of resolution #1)
3. BE KINDER TO MY HUSBAND. He is an amazing, generous, thoughtful, warm, loving and genuinely kind person. Truly. The man is saint and I am grateful he loves me despite all my flaws and daily antics. I have made him a punching bag more times than I’d like to admit (justifying this by the fact the I’m the Poopiegirls’ punching bag all day long – a poor excuse). Nobody deserves to be anybody’s punching bag. I intend to be way more cognisant of how I am treating him every single day. Oftentimes our partners take a backseat to our children’s constant demands and desires and needs. I am going to make a real effort to put PoopieDaddy back upfront with me where he belongs by showing him and telling him just how much I love him as often as possible.
4. BREATHE (seeing a pattern yet?)
5. BE KINDER TO MYSELF. So not good at this. So so so so not good at this one at all. Poops has always struggled with this one, but as of late, I’ve finally come to see just how essential it is to every other area of my life. I need to remember to do things that make me feel good so that I can distill that same positive energy that comes out of me when I do refuel unto all those whom I love. It’s not selfish to take time on your own when you know you need it. It shouldn’t make you feel guilty to recharge your battery when necessary. Burnout mom/wife is no good for anyone. I must make time to do things for myself this year that make me feel better: more yoga, more meditation, more long walks and jogs with the dog outside, more acupuncture, more quality time with friends, more quality time with PoopieDaddy, no more overextending, overcomitting, a lot less saying “yes” to various projects when asked and learning to say a lot more of “no” or “not right now” or “mabe next time when things are more manageable.” This also means being kinder to my body through eating better, continued, consistent exercise and also through the next resolution…
6. GET MORE SLEEP. I am an insomniac. Have been for years. I don’t know how to sleep well and it’s become a serious health issue. I feel exhausted a lot of the time and rely on tons of coffee to keep me going and red wine or melatonin to finally slow me down. Yes, they are all natural, but it would be ideal not to need any of them. I must create much better sleeping habits and the first of those is to go to bed much earlier. I am a complete night owl. I stay up late every single night writing, reading, emailing, facebooking, watching tv, organizing shit that doesn’t even need organizing…I mean I’ll do anything to put off sleep because I know it won’t come easy. And maybe that worked in high school or in college or even in my 20′s when my body and brain could still function well enough on small amounts of sleep, but cut to being 36 with two kids and this lack of rest thing will start to make everything feel like it’s deteriorating. I wake up with more aches and pains than I should, I snooze like crazy which makes everything feel more rushed getting out of the house, I definitely feel crankier and more irritable than I should a lot of the time and my metabolism is rusty and slow. 7-8 hours of sleep is a necessity to maintain good health as you age, and if I don’t work on getting it, I will not age well at all. Every doctor and study says the same thing, sleep is the key to wellbeing and so I must make 2012 the year that I start improving my wellbeing through getting a proper night’s rest as often as possible.
7. BREATHE (how’d ya know?)
8. SAVE MORE MONEY. It’s a no-brainer and yet I’m still no good at it. I don’t spend on anything lavish or luxurious (you poopies see how I dress…on those rare occasions when I’m actually not in gym clothes…I’m def the H&M mom, not the Saks Fifth Avenue mom), but I definitely look back at a lot of 2011′s purchases and go wtf? what were you thinking? See I’m the queen of all the little, unnecessary shit adding up. I’m the mom who goes into Target for pull-ups, wet ones and new toothbrushes and comes out $100 later with crap we don’t need. The same goes for the grocery store. PoopieDaddy calls me “over-stocker” because I never take inventory before I go and then when I come home and unload he’s always seeing duplicates of stuff. I admit it. I need to work on this. I don’t do it inentionally, I just need to be more discplined and realize how all the little things really aren’t so little and actually do in fact add up to a lot. I must make lists and STICK TO THEM. And I must stop buying stuff for the girls, as they already have more than enough to wear, eat and play with. If clearing-out and de-cluttering this house these past few weeks has taught me anything, it’s that we have WAY TOO MUCH SHIT IN THIS HOUSE! When we move to Chicago, I am going to be on a hard-core, daily mission to keep our home clutter-free and the sure-fire way of doing this is not to buy anything else and bring it inside. This plan will no doubt save us a ton of money!!!
9. BREATHE. (final reminder)
10. BE FULL OF FORGIVENESS/ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE. Again, it’s taken me years and years to realize this one, but I finally finally get it. Wanting people to change is a huge waste of time and energy. Huge waste. Very, very rarely will they ever actually become who you want them to be. And really, who are you to ask or even insist on such a change? Would you want someone to change you? The longer you hold out hope and desire for those you wish to see changes in, the longer you will be disappointed. This is indeed a harsh fact of life. And so I am leaving all my disappointment behind in 2011. This coming year, I vow to annoint myself Queen of Forgiveness and Acceptance. Just saying that feels good and makes a difference already. Whatever wrongs you feel were done to you – big or small, major or insignificant – LET THEM GO. Forgive whomever it is and whatever was done. LET IT GO. It doesn’t matter and it will eat you up from the inside out if you don’t. Be full of forgiveness, it’s so much easier than holding onto all of the hurt. There is never any healing possible, no matter what, without forgivness. And same goes for acceptance. There are people whom I will never begin to understand nor probably will ever understand, but I must accept them in order to move on. I must accept what they do and who they are if I want to move forward with my life and live with a completely open, healed heart. And this, my poops, is the single most important resolution of all – for my girls to grow up seeing their mom love them so fully and unconditionally without any bitterness or resentment in her heart. 2012 is the year I open my heart so fully that forgiveness and acceptance become such second nature that by 2013 I won’t even need to think about it anymore.
So there they are. Maybe you share some or one of them or maybe none at all. The definition of the word “resolution” means to make a firm decision to do or not to do something. All I can say is that I feel firmly about all of the above and after much thoughtful consideration, I’ve decided that these are things I need to do in the coming year and beyond. Whether you’re a resolution maker or not, it is important to think, concsiously, about how we are living day-to-day and what we can do to live even better. I hope you can take some time over the New Year to map-out some things for yourself that perhaps you need to improve upon as well. I hope mine have given you some food for thought. I would love to hear from some of you in the comments section if you’re willing to share some of your 2012 wishes, dreams and goals as well. It really helped me to write mine down.
So…here’s a big kiss New Year’s from me to you! I sent this photo of myself to a few of my best girlfriends in Phoenix who were having dinner together a few weeks ago and texted me that they missed me. It made my night to know that I was missed. And this reminds me of a bonus resolution: Tell the people in your life whom you love and care for how you feel about them! Don’t wait! Give them kisses and hugs and loads of affection as often as possible. Don’t waste another opportunity to tell them you love them. It will make them feel good and will make you feel even better. Speaking of which, I love all of you, my devoted, beloved Poopies! I thank you for making 2011 a special, memorable year for me with the launch of PoopieMommy and I can’t wait to continue blogging in 2012! Until then, have a very happy, safe and healthy New Year!!!!!