Poopie’s Resolutions

December 30, 2011

Here we are again, Poops. The end of another year comes to a close. It’s time to look back on the last 365 days and reflect on all that’s transpired- good or bad- and ask yourself: what could I have done differently? What would I have changed? What could I have done better? What am I proud of? What did I get right? What might I have done wrong? What were significant, memorable moments? And why? Conversely, what were some things that took place I wish I could forget? And why? Don’t stew or rehash too much, as that becomes unhealthy at a certain point. But it is important to learn from year to year what we can improve upon in order to optimize this one and only precious life we’re given. After thinking a lot about 2011, I have comprised a list of resolutions for myself. Poops here has never been a serious, thoughtful resolution-maker, as I think that oftentimes when we do so we tend to disppoint ourselves and aim alittle too high. I don’t want to set myself up for failure by biting off more than I can chew with these resolutions. So, bearing that in mind, I believe I’ve made a realistic list  of ten attaintable things and feel it’s not too far of a stretch to keep to most of them…or at least give it my best try. They are all highly personal to me and my life, as I’m always an open book to you, but I do believe many are universal in nature so I hope you will thing about how they might apply to your lives as well.

1.  BE CALMER. This is still something I need to work on. I am getting better and have employed various techniques to assist me with remaining as calm in possible, but these past few weeks have really tested me a lot and the pressures of dealing with the impending move and all that goes into selling a home have made me realize I have much more work to do in this department. And so I shall.

2. BREATHE (major component of resolution #1)

3.  BE KINDER TO MY HUSBAND. He is an amazing, generous, thoughtful, warm, loving and genuinely kind person. Truly. The man is saint and I am grateful he loves me despite all my flaws and daily antics. I have made him a punching bag more times than I’d like to admit (justifying this by the fact the I’m the Poopiegirls’ punching bag all day long – a poor excuse). Nobody deserves to be anybody’s punching bag. I intend to be way more cognisant of how I am treating him every single day. Oftentimes our partners take a backseat to our children’s constant demands and desires and needs. I am going to make a real effort to put PoopieDaddy back upfront with me where he belongs by showing him and telling him just how much I love him as often as possible.

4. BREATHE (seeing a pattern yet?)

5. BE KINDER TO MYSELF. So not good at this. So so so so not good at this one at all. Poops has always struggled with this one, but as of late, I’ve finally come to see just how essential it is to every other area of my life. I need to remember to do things that make me feel good so that I can distill that same positive energy that comes out of me when I do refuel unto all those whom I love. It’s not selfish to take time on your own when you know you need it. It shouldn’t make you feel guilty to recharge your battery when necessary. Burnout mom/wife is no good for anyone. I must make time to do things for myself this year that make me feel better: more yoga, more meditation, more long walks and jogs with the dog outside, more acupuncture, more quality time with friends, more quality time with PoopieDaddy, no more overextending, overcomitting, a lot less saying “yes” to various projects when asked and learning to say a lot more of “no” or “not right now” or “mabe next time when things are more manageable.” This also means being kinder to my body through eating better, continued, consistent exercise and also through the next resolution…

6. GET MORE SLEEP. I am an insomniac. Have been for years. I don’t know how to sleep well and it’s become a serious health issue. I feel exhausted a lot of the time and rely on tons of coffee to keep me going and red wine or melatonin to finally slow me down. Yes, they are all natural, but it would be ideal not to need any of them. I must create much better sleeping habits and the first of those is to go to bed much earlier. I am a complete night owl. I stay up late every single night writing, reading, emailing, facebooking, watching tv, organizing shit that doesn’t even need organizing…I mean I’ll do anything to put off sleep because I know it won’t come easy. And maybe that worked in high school or in college or even in my 20′s when my body and brain could still function well enough on small amounts of sleep, but cut to being 36 with two kids and this lack of rest thing will start to make everything feel like it’s deteriorating. I wake up with more aches and pains than I should, I snooze like crazy which makes everything feel more rushed getting out of the house, I definitely feel crankier and more irritable than I should a lot of the time and my metabolism is rusty and slow. 7-8 hours of sleep is a necessity to maintain good health as you age, and if I don’t work on getting it, I will not age well at all. Every doctor and study says the same thing, sleep is the key to wellbeing and so I must make 2012 the year that I start improving my wellbeing through getting a proper night’s rest as often as possible.

7. BREATHE (how’d ya know?)

8. SAVE MORE MONEY. It’s a no-brainer and yet I’m still no good at it. I don’t spend on anything lavish or luxurious (you poopies see how I dress…on those rare occasions when I’m actually not in gym clothes…I’m def the H&M mom, not the Saks Fifth Avenue mom), but I definitely look back at a lot of 2011′s purchases and go wtf? what were you thinking? See I’m the queen of all the little, unnecessary shit adding up. I’m the mom who goes into Target for pull-ups, wet ones and new toothbrushes and comes out $100 later with crap we don’t need. The same goes for the grocery store. PoopieDaddy calls me “over-stocker” because I never take inventory before I go and then when I come home and unload he’s always seeing duplicates of stuff. I admit it. I need to work on this. I don’t do it inentionally, I just need to be more discplined and realize how all the little things really aren’t so little and actually do in fact add up to a lot. I must make lists and STICK TO THEM. And I must stop buying stuff for the girls, as they already have more than enough to wear, eat and play with. If clearing-out and de-cluttering this house these past few weeks has taught me anything, it’s that we have WAY TOO MUCH SHIT IN THIS HOUSE! When we move to Chicago, I am going to be on a hard-core, daily mission to keep our home clutter-free and the sure-fire way of doing this is not to buy anything else and bring it inside. This plan will no doubt save us a ton of money!!!

9. BREATHE. (final reminder)

10. BE FULL OF FORGIVENESS/ACCEPT PEOPLE FOR EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE. Again, it’s taken me years and years to realize this one, but I finally finally get it. Wanting people to change is a huge waste of time and energy. Huge waste. Very, very rarely will they ever actually become who you want them to be. And really, who are you to ask or even insist on such a change? Would you want someone to change you? The longer you hold out hope and desire for those you wish to see changes in, the longer you will be disappointed. This is indeed a harsh fact of life. And so I am leaving all my disappointment behind in 2011. This coming year, I vow to annoint myself Queen of Forgiveness and Acceptance. Just saying that feels good and makes a difference already. Whatever wrongs you feel were done to you – big or small, major or insignificant – LET THEM GO. Forgive whomever it is and whatever was done. LET IT GO. It doesn’t matter and it will eat you up from the inside out if you don’t. Be full of forgiveness, it’s so much easier than holding onto all of the hurt. There is never any healing possible, no matter what, without forgivness. And same goes for acceptance. There are people whom I will never begin to understand nor probably will ever understand, but I must accept them in order to move on. I must accept what they do and who they are if I want to move forward with my life and live with a completely open, healed heart. And this, my poops, is the single most important resolution of all – for my girls to grow up seeing their mom love them so fully and unconditionally without any bitterness or resentment in her heart. 2012 is the year I open my heart so fully that forgiveness and acceptance become such second nature that by 2013 I won’t even need to think about it anymore.

So there they are. Maybe you share some or one of them or maybe none at all. The definition of the word “resolution” means to make a firm decision to do or not to do something. All I can say is that I feel firmly about all of the above and after much thoughtful consideration, I’ve decided that these are things I need to do in the coming year and beyond. Whether you’re a resolution maker or not, it is important to think, concsiously, about how we are living day-to-day and what we can do to live even better. I hope you can take some time over the New Year to map-out some things for yourself that perhaps you need to improve upon as well. I hope mine have given you some food for thought. I would love to hear from some of you in the comments section if you’re willing to share some of your 2012 wishes, dreams and goals as well. It really helped me to write mine down.

Take a good look…the hair is being chopped (and donated) very soon!

So…here’s a big kiss New Year’s from me to you! I sent this photo of myself to a few of my best girlfriends in Phoenix who were having dinner together a few weeks ago and texted me that they missed me. It made my night to know that I was missed. And this reminds me of a bonus resolution: Tell the people in your life whom you love and care for how you feel about them! Don’t wait! Give them kisses and hugs and loads of affection as often as possible. Don’t waste another opportunity to tell them you love them. It will make them feel good and will make you feel even better. Speaking of which, I love all of you, my devoted, beloved Poopies! I thank you for making 2011 a special, memorable year for me with the launch of PoopieMommy and I can’t wait to continue blogging in 2012! Until then, have a very happy, safe and healthy New Year!!!!!

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Happy EVERYTHING, Poopies!!!!!

December 25, 2011
PoopieMommy’s Rockin’ Holiday Makeover (given with love by her 3 year-old)
Major Hotness, Don’t Ya Think? 
Poopies! I’m sorry I haven’t blogged much this week…holiday craziness has consumed the PoopieFamily! I just wanted to write a quick post wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah! Whatever you celebrate, may it be a time filled with lots of love, warmth and laughter! And speaking of laughter, I’ve attached the ridiculous pic of myself above to show you how we’ve been cracking up around here this evening. My mother-in-law sent the girls their dream gift: the Justice make-up boxes. In case you’re not familiar these are bright pink, sparkly cases filled with every last possible girlie thing on the planet from tons of make-up to nail polish to earring stickers. You name it, it’s in there. They were beyond thrilled to receive them and couldn’t wait to start “styling.” Of course I became their supermodel and as you can see. As always, I definitely have a sense of humor about it! They were having just too much fun that I just couldn’t make them stop, even when the look I was rocking went from glittery fashion model to seriously disturbed punk metal slightly deranged chick. And now we have this amazing memory (and funny pics too!) Our tradition of being silly continues around here and my wish for all of you is to create some incredible memories of you own this weekend. The holidays are the perfect time to slow, slow, slow it down and simply rejoice in these beautiful beings we made – the true gifts in our lives.
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Poopie, It Could’ve Been Worse AND Poopie, Trust Your Instincts! (aka The Chrismukah Miracle)

December 21, 2011
The Hero – Lovely Man From the Garage 
The Passenger – Oblivious and Having Fun
Like the double title today? Hi Poops, sorry I’ve been offline for a few days. It’s been a little bit of a circus around here. We’ve got workmen going in and out of our house making it look pristine and perfect (now I really wish we could stay and live in it since we’ve made it so beautiful for the next owners!), PoopieDaddy is off for the holiday so we’ve been hanging out with the girls (both of whom have that lovely, phlegmy cough just in time for the holidays), I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off getting last-minute gifts, shipping things and sneaking around at night wrapping stuff and then of course there’s the cleaning and de-cluttering that is in constant motion since we’ll be putting our house up for sale in a few short weeks. This time of year is like a blur anyway, but then you add the house stuff to it and it becomes an even bigger whirlwind.
Thankfully, though, I’ve had a few days to reflect about things and I’m feeling so much better about the nutty pace and hectic life we’re, temporarily, living. My new and improved attitude is also due in part to an incident which occured this past Sunday that was upsetting in the moment but later when I had time to think about it, taught me a grand lesson – a lesson that my fellow PoopieMama dubbed “The Hanukah Miracle.” We were kidding around of course, as it is the holiday season, but truthfully, anytime I get the opportunity to learn something new about life and myself and other people I do consider it a bit of a miracle. It’s not always easy to glean the importance of a scary situation when you’re in it, but it is kind of miraculous once you’ve been through it and realize how lucky you are. In hindsight it was so not a big deal, but I definitely freaked a little in the middle of it while it was happening…mainly because I didn’t listen to myself and go with my gut. Allow me to explain.
So, last Sunday I went to pick up a friend and her daughter so we could all ride to a birthday party together. At her house I thought I heard the car making a funny noise. So when she and her daughter were getting in the car, I got out and went to the passenger side front tire and leaned down and listened. We both listened actually and felt the tire to make sure it wasn’t punctured and losing air. It felt fine and didn’t appear to be deflating so I assumed the odd noise had something to do with the fact that the car is a hybrid and makes different sounds when idling (I’ve only been driving PoopieDaddy’s Prius for a few months). And so, we both decided it was probably nothing. Ha. Nothing my ass. Here is where that little voice inside my head shouldn’ve have been ignored. My girlfriend offers to drive instead (a much wiser option that I should’ve taken her up on), but instead I go against my instincts and say everything with the car is just fine and off we go. You know where this is headed, right?
We’re on the highway for about five minutes when I hear a crazy sound and ask my friend if she hears it too. And of course she does. We both realize instantly that tire is in fact deflating and we are about to be in a serious situtation. Thankfully, we were near an exit so I changed lanes and got off. The car was starting to drive funny and I was nervous. The panic had set in and my heart was pounding. What do we do? Where my gut had failed me just moments earlier, thankfully, it reminded me in that instant that there was a gas station just down the road. I know you’re supposed to pull to the side of the road immediately on a flat, but I knew if we went slow and carefully enough I could make it to that gas station before calling Triple A. And here is where the story gets seriously lucky.
In my head, I already assumed we would not be making it to the birthday party. I figured AAA would take forever to show up and PoopieDaddy would have to come get us and take all of us home. It was 4pm on a Sunday…the worst possible time to expect anyone at a gas station garage to actually be there. But as we pulled very slowly and wobbily into the gas station, there he was! Our Chrismukah miracle man working on a truck. My friend hopped out and asked him if he could change our spare (a spare, by the way, that I didn’t even know existed underneath the trunk. Again, thanks to my PoopiePal who stayed very calm and assured my dumb ass that, yes, every car does indeed come with a freaking spare. I mean, honestly, ole poops here is like an automobile neophite…I know nuthin!) He said he would be available to assist us with the spare in just a few minutes and it wouldn’t take long at all. Hallelujah!
While we waited for him, I got the spare out of the trunk and also ran inside to the atm to get some money to tip him. It’s the least this moron could do for the man of the hour. Especially since the local police had refused to help us. Yes, no joke, my PoopiePal was an eyewitness to this. A big, fat lazy-ass cop from the municipality that we were in was asked by yours truly if he could help us and he turned us down (no lie…and he actually had a bag of donuts in his hand while he walked back to his cruiser after refusing to help us- the ultimate PoPo cliche if ever there was one!) I suppose he saw the miracle man was already going to be assisting us, but he didn’t have to be such a major douche about it. After all, we did have small children in the car…it wouldn’t have killed him to ask if we were okay.
Anyway, within minutes the tire was changed. The girls got a kick out of it when miracle man hoisted up the Prius and they were towering all lopsided for a minute inside the car. Before we knew it, the deflated, balled junker was in the trunk, the girls were strapped back into their car seats and we were off to the party again and would only be about 30 minutes late! Of course we were told we couldn’t go more than 50 miles an hour on the spare so I decided not to take the highway and instead drove over to my mom’s house which was on the way and we played musical cars for a minute. The whole incident unfolded rather quickly and I didn’t have much time that afternoon to consider the bigger picture. I had so much on my mind to begin with that day and was already feeling pretty stressed out that the flat tire just seemed like a miserable cherry on top of an already taxing day. Feeling sorry for myself seemed like a pretty good idea at the time. I certainly have been known to have my dramatic moments.
But here’s the thing…and you poops know I always have a “thing.” After sleeping on it and looking at the smile of D’s face in the pic I took while the tire was being changed (thanks again to the suggestion of my poopiepal who said in the middle of everything…”you know this would make a great blog”) I realized how very lucky we were – lucky that I was able to get off the highway, lucky that I remembered the little gas station down the road and that we were able to make it there safely, lucky that it was still light out and not that cold, lucky that I had a good friend with me to keep me calm, and really lucky that our miracle man was there to help us! Like my title says, it could have been so much worse. This was probably the best scenario for a flat tire story ever and here I was complaining about it and getting so mad at myself for not trusting my instincts back in my friend’s driveway before we even left for the party. But the truth is, I was being a hypocrite. I’m always tell you poopies and my girls that life is all about how you learn from your mistakes…that’s it’s not how you fall down or how many times, but rather how you pick yourself back up that matters and what you learn from it that counts. And here I am completly ignoring my own advice.
This is why I feel like the flat tire was in fact a little holiday miracle and why I’m actually grateful that it happened. I learned several very valuable lessons from it that I will remember always. One is that you shouldn’t ignore your instincts – EVER. Something inside of me told me to get out of the car and listen to it and yet after that I still made a decision that went against my gut. Never again! That’s what your gut is for – to tell you things that matter when your stupid head gets in the way! And I am also grateful to have had a friend with me who kept me in check and told me to stop beating myself up (a skill I’ve honed with such precision over the years). And finally, I am grateful for the kindess of strangers. Despite the policeman being a total dick, this man (whom I feel awful for not knowing his name) didn’t have to help us. He could’ve told us to call Triple A and gone about his business. He didn’t know or expect that I would give him any money. He just saw two clueless moms and their kids and decided to do the right thing – the helpful, kind thing. It doesn’t always go like that. People can be cruel and ignorant and mean and inconsiderate. But our miracle man wasn’t and it restored my faith in humanity. And shouldn’t that be what the holidays are all about???

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