This is A’s mouth. Can you see what’s coming up???

So, clearly, keeping up with daily posts is proving to be harder than I thought. After the long, hot holiday yesterday, and once the kids were finally down last night, I was so zapped I couldn’t even imagine firing up the laptop and blogging. This oppressive weather is wearing ‘ole Poops out. I can’t wait for rain and the temp to cool down just a little bit! I don’t mind a hot summer, especially after we were spoiled with such a mild winter (we knew this was comin!) but so many consecutive days exceeding the 100′s is just downright nasty and exhausting.

With that said, I am once again a day behind on the challenge, but making up for it today with a double-post. Below you will find my responses to number 4 & 5 from the 31 Day Blog Challenge. But before I get to those, you’re probably wondering about the picture above. We are very excited around here, as it’s the first “loosey goosey” tooth we’ve experienced! My darling A is on the verge of losing tooth #1 and every day we check it to see if it’s wiggling even more than the day before. The other tooth is coming up behind it fast and furiously and any day now it will knock that baby tooth out of the way! This will be our first ever visit from the Tooth Fairy! It has been a fun part of our summer so far awaiting her arrival. Stay tuned…

#4: What are you afraid of???

Wow. This is one of those times where my own code of “keep it real, or keep out” is coming back to haunt me. What am I afraid of? What a question. I’ve thought long and hard about this one, and in my desire to always be as honest as possible with you, I must admit, there are many things that I’m frightened of. In fact, there are things I don’t like to think about because they scare me so much. What? Well for one, I’m terribly afraid of time. I wish it were something I could let go, as I do try, but often fail. But time really sits inside of me, ticking away, freaking me out. Meaning, I am scared by how quickly it goes by and how much of it has already past. Perhaps I’m a nostalgic person by nature, so this fear is heightened by that sensibility.

It’s not that I dwell on this all the time, but if I’m really being truthful, I am afraid of its intense power over me. I try to live in the moment, as I’m often telling you all to do, but I can’t help sometimes be overwhelmed by my age and how much of life has already gone by. I can’t help but be stunned by how quickly my daughters are growing and how many phases of their young lives have already past. Perhaps parenthood has crystallized this fear even more, but I can always remember being afraid of time, of not wanting things to end, of wanting to hold onto to moments a little bit longer, but always, they slip through my grasp and move forward relentlessly despite my desire.

Even as a kid I had an awareness of time’s fleeting control. I remember being at summer camp and thinking about how only a certain amount of days were left and being sad thinking about it and wanting time to stand still. Or I remember in college when each semester ended I would feel the weight of graduation approaching and feel like life was catapulting me forward quicker than I could keep up. And now, it feels as though it’s moving even faster. I never have a day where I say to myself, “thank god that one’s over.” I always wish for more time. Always. And so that is probably my number one fear. It’s also why I think I stay up later than I should. I think, subconciously, I try to stretch out each day a little bit longer. Like I can add more time to each day instead of sleeping it away. Crazy, I know. Listen, poops, I always said I’d keep it real. I never said I wasn’t nuts.

Another thing I’m afraid of is that I’m not reaching my full potential.  This is a major life-long fear. I am afraid of waking up one day and finding out it’s too late to achieve and accomplish things I’ve always wanted to do, or at least attempt. It’s sort of the “bucket-list” idea, but more regarding my skills and talents and dreams. I’m not worried about checking off a list of foods I want to try or activities I want to do or places I want to visit, it’s more about making sure I’ve been who I’m meant to be and done what I’m born to do. Does this make sense? Again, keepin’ it real, but never claimed not to have major issues. This fear eats away at me all the time…much like the ticking clock. They sort of go hand in hand actually. Meaning, am I spending the time I have the way I should be? Am I optimizing my experiences in life? This really frightens me, because I don’t want to regret anything. Regret is my biggest fear of all.

And of course there are also the average garden variety fears of mortality, sickness, danger, disaster, etc. I am actually pretty good at keeping those in check, since they are really beyond my control. I don’t ruminate on those too much. Instead, I try to stay focused on being grateful for each day those things are kept at bay from me and those I love and cherish. I don’t come from the healthiest gene pool so if I think about that stuff too much I will get really freaked out. Each day is definitely a blessing and it’s vital to remember that – even with the clock ticking away.

Now, onto a much lighter blog challenge, #5: What are my Top 10 favorite songs right now?

This is definitely not in any particular order, but here goes:

1. Electric Feel by MGMT

2. Want U Back by Cher Lloyd

3. Take Care by Drake featuring Rihanna

4. Houdini by Foster the People

5. No Church in the Wild by Watch the Throne

6. Come Pick Me Up by Ryan Adams

7. Midnight City by M83

8. Paris (Ooh La La) by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

9. Undertow by Warpaint

10. High Hopes (Live) David Gilmour

What in the world do you suppose this random list says about me? You decide. And please, tell me your favorite songs right now!!! Post it up, Poopies! My I-pod could always use some new tunes….inspire me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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